Family Problems

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, so let my apology fall into the ether that is the internet.  I finally have some time, but I think mostly I’m posting because I need some kind of therapeutic action.  Over the past few days, I’ve had to put up with one of the most trying, awkward, no-getting-better situations I’ve ever had to deal with in my life.  Sadly, it deals with the two most important women in my life.  I won’t be going into specifics.  But here is my observation:  my mom is a little crazy.

From my perspective, this is just a giant, giant, giant misunderstanding.  Basically, my mom, the person who’s been my support for my entire life, feels slighted by the actions, or lack there  of, of my wife, the woman who has for the past eight years been nothing but caring, sweet, and just as supportive to me.  My mother is a very strong woman with very, very strong feelings.  I’ve fought many battles with her when she has perceived my actions as wrong or hurtful.  She is the type of woman who won’t accept apologies and doesn’t care what outside (non-blood) relationships get burned.  I, being as strong-willed, and a blood relative, have been able to withstand or at least deal with these “confrontations” that pop up.  This is different.  Her issue is not with me, it’s with my wife.  Uncomfortable to begin with, but more so when you factor in my wife’s traits.  Simply put, if there was one person in the world that had to be chosen to embody selflessness, humility, and a general all around let’s-all-get-along attitude, my wife would be that person.  This by no means excludes her of all wrongdoing.  She has her part in the matter, but more out of carelessness as opposed to vindictiveness.

So like I was saying, the traits of my wife almost automatically put her into a category of the submissive.  She doesn’t know, nor has she ever had to deal with, the kind of fiery personality that is my mother.  She did her best to apologize, but as stated earlier, my mother is not usually open to apologies.  So I don’t know what to do.  I can’t get through to my mom.  She brings up some very strange points to support why she is so mad.  I can’t understand it all.  I actually do get the initial feeling of being slighted.  I see it.  What I don’t see is the amount of anger and lack of understanding that follows it all.  What the hell am I supposed to do?  We have a baby coming in two months.  What is this going to do to that relationship with her granddaughter?  Will she not care as much?  I want my family to be an integral part of the life of my children, but I also don’t want them to be “second class citizens” to my family either.

I really don’t feel good about this.  My wife has some part in this.  Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be changed now.  It all rests in the heart and mind of my mother; who, to be fair, is one of the most loving people I know.  I know in this post seem could easily be seen as a monster, but trust me she’s not.  If I was to play arm chair psychologist, I might say that she is just acting out against that woman that stole her baby boy away from her.  We were always very close, and I’m afraid this will change that.  I don’t know what to do.  I want to just go to sleep and hide for a few months until my daughter gets here.  She’ll make it better.

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